- Присоединился/лась
- 19 Январь 2025
- Сообщения
- 30
Hello! In short, you won't find anything valuable here, most likely just another person who decided to whine. I don't expect solutions, I just don't even know why,...
Tired, disappointed, lost everything positive that sets goals in life.
I'm a little over 20, and I've already been doing meditation, maybe not very correctly, trying to help with something, it didn't work out very well. I thought I found my place here, and I liked something, but I have to return to reality, where it all gets lost. I have no incentive, no desires, none, and I don't know what to do with this life. And no, no, I'm not one of those who party, drink, smoke, do drugs and so on. Every day I, an ordinary person, work 6/7 days, sometimes less, from 8-12 hours, as it turns out. I look, and I don't see anything else in myself and life and more, I don't want. I don't want to see people around, I don't want to start a family, I don't want anything. I work not to save up for a car, a house, a phone or something else, such is life, you need money to at least exist. Now I have relatives, I think I won't really save up for anything, I'll see what I can do for them, little things. I don't even know what I'll do when they're gone, how I'll justify my existence. Where to look for meaning. It's all superfluous, unnecessary)
It's funny, but physically I don't feel relaxed, work leads to that too. I don't pay much attention. I often think that maybe I'll get so tired that I'll die). And this gives me a feeling that someday I'll be free from life.
I don't like this world, the people in it and myself too. I tried to deceive myself when I came here and started studying. And then a year later, I sat down and thought, nothing had changed in me and myself, all my emotions from that time remained and even more, they became stronger, all these momentary feelings that, well, it will be better, it will get better. It was just a deception of myself, I failed to do anything, I did not rise above myself even by an iota.
Still, I fucking hate my life and am somehow not grateful for my existence.
I think some people will have a misunderstanding, if you don't want to, then don't live, you can always stop and I know. Only, it seems, I'm not ready, or I'm afraid or some other reason, I don't know.
I don't know, I just don't know. I don't know why I do this or that, why I write this. After all, I don't expect to find help here, because I've seen and read here how others were helped, what advice they gave. I think everyone will advise me the same. To turn to the Gods, to do cleansing work. Meditations for a better life or something like that. Materially, they will advise to look at life differently, there will be those who will convince that not everything is so bad. There will be those who will see another whining person. They will advise a psychologist and much more).
Since 18 somewhere like that, something broke in a dream) and I lost at least something to life. At first I gave myself time to immerse myself in everything, and when I tried to change something, and it starts from here. I tried, I forced myself. I didn't succeed, nothing.
I hate it. I'm sorry.
Tired, disappointed, lost everything positive that sets goals in life.
I'm a little over 20, and I've already been doing meditation, maybe not very correctly, trying to help with something, it didn't work out very well. I thought I found my place here, and I liked something, but I have to return to reality, where it all gets lost. I have no incentive, no desires, none, and I don't know what to do with this life. And no, no, I'm not one of those who party, drink, smoke, do drugs and so on. Every day I, an ordinary person, work 6/7 days, sometimes less, from 8-12 hours, as it turns out. I look, and I don't see anything else in myself and life and more, I don't want. I don't want to see people around, I don't want to start a family, I don't want anything. I work not to save up for a car, a house, a phone or something else, such is life, you need money to at least exist. Now I have relatives, I think I won't really save up for anything, I'll see what I can do for them, little things. I don't even know what I'll do when they're gone, how I'll justify my existence. Where to look for meaning. It's all superfluous, unnecessary)
It's funny, but physically I don't feel relaxed, work leads to that too. I don't pay much attention. I often think that maybe I'll get so tired that I'll die). And this gives me a feeling that someday I'll be free from life.
I don't like this world, the people in it and myself too. I tried to deceive myself when I came here and started studying. And then a year later, I sat down and thought, nothing had changed in me and myself, all my emotions from that time remained and even more, they became stronger, all these momentary feelings that, well, it will be better, it will get better. It was just a deception of myself, I failed to do anything, I did not rise above myself even by an iota.
Still, I fucking hate my life and am somehow not grateful for my existence.
I think some people will have a misunderstanding, if you don't want to, then don't live, you can always stop and I know. Only, it seems, I'm not ready, or I'm afraid or some other reason, I don't know.
I don't know, I just don't know. I don't know why I do this or that, why I write this. After all, I don't expect to find help here, because I've seen and read here how others were helped, what advice they gave. I think everyone will advise me the same. To turn to the Gods, to do cleansing work. Meditations for a better life or something like that. Materially, they will advise to look at life differently, there will be those who will convince that not everything is so bad. There will be those who will see another whining person. They will advise a psychologist and much more).
Since 18 somewhere like that, something broke in a dream) and I lost at least something to life. At first I gave myself time to immerse myself in everything, and when I tried to change something, and it starts from here. I tried, I forced myself. I didn't succeed, nothing.
I hate it. I'm sorry.